How to Deal with Rejection: Stop the Pain & Fear of Rejection

by David Fonvielle


Learn step by step how to deal with rejection in an online course for overcoming rejection. Start the course right now.

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How to get over rejection today

In this video you're going to learn how to overcome the pain, anger and fear of rejection in less than two hours.

So right now, how does rejection currently affect you?

Does it make you feel pain whenever you think about times you have been rejected in the past? Or does it ever make you feel angry whenever you're rejected?

Or are you afraid of rejection?

Specifically, do you ever feel afraid or anxious about the possibility of being rejected and does this kind of fear ever hold you back in life and prevent you from achieving things you might want to achieve?

Handling rejection the smart way

My name is David Fonvielle, and I am the author of this course on how to deal with rejection.

The reason I wrote this course is because I've dealt with rejection and it used to be a big problem for me. It used to be really painful every time I got rejected, and I was intimidated about the possibility of being rejected, which would make me afraid of putting myself in situations where rejection might occur.

As you can imagine, that definitely held me back from achieving things I would've loved to have achieved.

So for a long period of time my way of dealing with it was that I just learned how to live with this kind of pain and fear, and there were times that I'd just force myself to put myself in situations where I'd get rejected and just deal with it.

And this kind of worked, except that the sense of pain and fear was always there, and I wanted to be free of that. So what I did is I made it my mission to learn how to feel differently about rejection, so that I didn't have any of this pain, anger or fear associated with it.

And by taking deliberate action I learned how to change the way I reacted to rejection, so that it became no big deal to me.

Right now that's how it is. I still get rejected, but now I don't feel that pain, anger, or fear that I used to feel, and that's the change that I'm going to teach you how to achieve in this course.

Feelings of rejection hurt most people

The reason I created this course is because rejection is just extremely painful for most people.

Not just for me or you, but for most people, because studies have shown that when people think about rejection, their brains light up as if they're experiencing physical pain. (This helps explain why a fear of rejection phobia is so common.)

A big lesson: if you don't do anything about it, this is the way you feel about rejection every time you think about rejection. Your brain lights up as if you're physically hurting, as if you've broken an arm or a leg. And this will be painful for you for the rest your life, if you don't do anything about it.

Similarly, numerous studies show that rejection can make you feel really angry and filled with resentment, and in this way feeling rejected can lead to a lot of terrible outcomes in your life.

There was one study done on school shooters, and it was was shown that out of fifteen of them, thirteen of them had suffered from social rejection. As you can see that led to really destructive negative consequences.

And, finally, rejection has been shown in numerous studies to just have a negative affect on your life overall, because it can contribute to things like sadness, depression, anxiety, and jealousy.

As you can imagine, all of this is extremely stressful, so it can lead to worse health and poor quality of sleep, among other things.

You probably don't need a study to tell you this, though. Because if you've ever been rejected you know how stressful and miserable it can be, and how it can definitely lead to things like less quality of sleep, worse social interactions with other people, and to worse health overall.

So the big lesson here is that if you don't do anything about the situation, rejection is going to have this negative toll on your life.

I feel rejected: what can I do?

There are some other good things we can learn about from this study.

The first one is that rejection is something everyone deals with, and it is completely normal to have this kind of pain, anger, and fear attached to rejection, so do not beat yourself up if that's how you react to rejection.

There is nothing wrong with you. You do not have a defect, and you're not broken in any way. You're not a coward if you're afraid of being rejected, and you're not weak if you get hurt when you're rejected. This is the normal experience for most people.

That said, another big insight is rejection doesn't have to have this kind of an effect. Yes, it might be normal for the majority of people to experience pain, anger and fear of rejection, but normal doesn't mean good, and normal doesn't mean you have to always feel that way.

I'm an example. I used to have this kind of pain, anger and fear associated with rejection, but now I don't. It can change for you too.

And you also probably know people in your life who rejection is no big deal to them, and you've wondered: why are they not afraid of rejection but I am?

Well, that's because they're approaching rejection differently than you, and you can learn how to approach rejection differently, too, in this course.

So, for example, you can learn how to deal with job rejection, or how to deal with rejection from a crush, or your boyfriend or girlfriend, without this kind of rejection hurting you anymore.

Why learning how to not get rejected isn't the solution

Now another big lesson from all this is that contrary to what you might think, your real problem with rejection is not being rejected.

Lots of people think that rejection is the problem but it's not. It's how you react to rejection that is the problem.

To understand this, if you didn't have any pain, anger or fear rejection, and it felt like no big deal to you at all, and it didn't put in a bad mood... In fact, you even felt great about how easily you were able to handle it... Rejection wouldn't be a problem for you at all.

Yes, you'd still get rejected, but it wouldn't be a big deal to you, so it wouldn't be a problem.

Now, you might listen to this, and say, yes, I know, Dave, if I didn't feel any pain, anger or fear of rejection, it wouldn't be a problem for me, but guess what? I can't help how I feel. That's just how I feel whenever I'm rejected.

If that's the problem, then that is the biggest problem. If that is how you feel, if you feel completely helpless to change the way you feel whenever you get rejected, this is extremely stressful.

It's the reason rejection hurts so much, because there's this idea of guaranteed pain, guaranteed suffering, and you feel helpless to do anything about that. So of course rejection is terrifying, if you feel helpless to do anything about this kind of guaranteed pain.

How to get over being rejected: step by step instructions

So the good news is that this course is going to completely solve your problems with rejection, because you're going to learn step-by-step how to change the way you feel about rejection so that rejection isn't a big deal or a problem for you anymore.

You'll be able to deal with it just fine, and by being able to change how you feel about rejection, and knowing exactly what to do, you're going to feel empowered.

So instead of feeling helpless, you feel much stronger and more confident, and you're not going to be intimidated by rejection anymore, because you know you can change how you feel and deal with it really easily.

Now that you know this, let's get started tackling the steps for overcoming the pain, anger and fear of rejection.

Step 1: why do you want to get over rejection?

Step 1: it's really important that you have a clear direction in your mind about what you want to achieve. A big mistake I see people make is they say, "I don't want to have any pain, anger and fear of rejection. I don't want to feel that way anymore."

Well, that's great, but until you know how you want to feel instead, nothing is going to happen.

To understand this, think about getting into a taxi at the airport, and you tell the taxi driver, "I don't want to be at the airport anymore".

The taxi driver might say okay, and be ready to take you somewhere, but until you have a clear direction or a destination to go in, you're not going anywhere.

The same is true in this case. You might not want to suffer any pain and fear of rejection, but until you have a clear goal ahead, instead, nothing's going to happen.

For this reason, right now, set a really clear goal in your mind, like: "I want to achieve becoming completely comfortable with rejection so that it's always no big deal and never an issue for me".

This is a clear goal that you can hit, and the way you know you've hit the goal is you make the changes you learn in this course, then you get rejected, and you realize: hey this isn't a big deal to me, anymore. And that's how you know you've achieved this phenomenal success.

So, if you want to achieve this, and you have set this goal, you've already done something huge.

Step 2: why eliminate the pain, anger and fear of rejection?

Step 2: you have absolutely got to know why you want to overcome the pain, anger and fear of rejection and become comfortable with it, even if no one else in the world wants you to create this change.

Why is this important?

Well, you've got to think if it like this. You've got this destination you want to go to for becoming comfortable with rejection so that it's no big deal to you, but your motivation is what's going to get you to your destination. It's like the fuel for your journey.

Now, the most important thing of all is being self-motivated, meaning you want this. You're going to do this even if no one else in the world wants it for you, even if no one else in the world wants to help you achieve it.

Now how do you create this really powerful self motivation that makes you unstoppable, and pretty much guarantees you can reach your destination?

It's really simple: you ask yourself one question, which is this: what's in it for me?

Okay, so here's what's in it for you in overcoming the pain, anger and fear rejection, so that it becomes no big deal to you.

The value of getting over rejection

First of all, you're going to be completely free of stress and anger whenever you're rejected, so this is going to be like headache relief, because you don't have this kind of stress and turmoil in your life.

You're also not just becoming free of negative value, you're gaining enormous positive value, because you're gaining peace of mind, and you're gaining a lot more happiness in life.

You naturally are going to be always more calm and relaxed and enjoy life more, just because rejection isn't this big deal or this problem for you anymore. So it's great.

Also you'll now be completely free from a lot of the pain and fear of rejection that most people experience. Again, you're going to be free of this headache that is causing so much pain in your life. That'll just be gone, and you'll enjoy immediate relief and feel so good.

And being free of the fear is tremendous because not only does it feel so good to not be afraid of rejection anymore, but its also going to lead to things like greater self-esteem and greater self-confidence.

As you can imagine, if you don't have any fear rejection anymore, you feel much better about yourself and your capabilities, and your self esteem goes way up, and your self confidence goes through the roof, because you're not crippled by this fear of rejection holding you back anymore.

So you become a much stronger person overall, and an important side effect is that by having more self-esteem and self-confidence, you naturally are going to enjoy much more success in life, because think about it: the fear of rejection will not be holding you back anymore.

Instead of being intimidated to put yourself in situations, you're not going to have that obstacle anymore. It's just going to be much easier for you to go out and achieve things you want to achieve without the fear of rejection holding you back.

And with higher self-esteem and higher self confidence, you're guaranteed to enjoy more success in life on automatic pilot. It just works out for you in every single way.

Ready for the next step in coping with rejection?

Once you appreciate all of this, you are fueled and ready to go on your journey. Because by understanding all these benefits, this creates such powerful self-motivation which will make it really easy for you to achieve your goal.

So now let's get started on this journey by deciding something very important.

First of all, how are you going to get where you want to go? You know that you want to become fine and comfortable with rejection, so that it's no big deal to you anymore, and you've got all the motivation in the world to get there, but how are you going to do it?

There are many different routes that you can take to arrive at any destination. The name of the game is to select the route that is the fastest, easiest, most effective, most beneficial, and safest. You want the best route. That's what you're aiming for, so with this in mind, let's consider some routes that people take to try to deal with rejection, and decide which one is the best of all.

Strategy 1: a bad way to deal with rejection

A very common strategy, first of all, that people have for dealing with rejection is to deal with it with alcohol or pills.

The idea is you numb yourself to the pain of rejection with alcohol, so you don't feel their pain anymore. Or you overcome the fear of rejection by drinking alcohol, and then going out and putting yourself in a situation where you might get rejected.

The classic example is a guy or a girl at a bar drinking shots of alcohol -- a so-called shot of courage -- to go over and ask someone out. The idea here is that this alcohol takes away the pain and the fear.

This is a terrible strategy for dealing with the pain, fear and anger of rejection, because you are not taking anything away at all. You are temporarily impairing your brain so you don't feel certain things, but guess what?

The moment the alcohol wears off, that pain, anger and fear return. It's never really gone. You just temporarily had blocked yourself from feeling it.

Even worse, you are killing your self-confidence if you go this route, because you're saying: hey, I'm not strong enough to deal with rejection. I need something like alcohol to help me.

This will really crush your spirit, and it is just so bad for you in so many different ways, not to mention you become more dependent on things like alcohol. Don't go this way at all.

Strategy 2: avoiding rejection is just as bad

Similarly, don't take this approach which is the approach of avoiding rejection. A lot of people's solution to dealing with the pain, anger, and fear rejection is simple: they just don't put themselves in situations where they might get rejected.

And, again, this is bad because you're not dealing with rejection. You're hiding from it, and you're also not eliminating any of the pain, anger or fear.

You're still living with that pain, anger, and fear. You're just hiding with that pain, anger and fear, and of course with this strategy, it's going to hold you back from achieving all sorts of things you want to achieve in your life.

And again, your self-confidence plummets because you feel like you're hiding from rejection, as if you're not strong enough to face it. This is bad on so many different levels.

Strategy 3: a better strategy for dealing with rejection

Now, take a much better strategy, a step forward, which I call the "jump in and get used to it" approach to rejection. 

The idea with this approach is that you think of rejection as being like this big, frozen, scary, icy lake, but you go ahead and force yourself to jump into it, and it is a miserable, but you become numb to it, and you learn that you can deal with it, you can handle it.

In this way your confidence grows, because you've proven that you can deal with rejection.

The benefits of this approach is that, yes, you are learning that you can deal with rejection. But the drawback is pretty big in that the pain, anger, and fear of rejection remains. Rejection continues to remain this miserable experience.

Yes, now you know that you can deal with it, but every time in your head it's like: it's this miserable thing I don't want to deal with, but okay I'll go ahead and deal with it, and yes I know I'll get through it.

You know without a doubt that you can get through it, but it's miserable and painful for you every time, so this is still not good in the sense that you haven't removed that anger, fear, or pain.

(FYI, this approach is sometimes known as Rejection Therapy by some people. People who practice rejection therapy generally try to get rejected on purpose, and even turn rejection into a game.)

Strategy 4: cognitive behavioral therapy for rejection

This brings us this strategy for rejection, which is the best strategy so far. This is to change the way you think about rejection, in order to change the way you feel about rejection.

Changing the way you think in order to change the way you feel is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, which his been clinically proven to help people eliminate things like stress, anger, pain and fear. 

And for this reason, this is the perfect, ideal approach to rejection, because you're using a clinically proven approach to help you eliminate the stress, pain, anger and fear rejection, so that you don't deal with those kinds of emotions anymore whenever you get rejected.

To help you understand how cognitive behavioral therapy works, it work something like this: if before you think of rejection as this big, terrifying, scary, icy frozen lake, by changing the way you think about rejection, now it seems like rejection is more like this bathtub filled with lukewarm bath water.

And so as a result, rejection feels completely different to you, because it looks completely different to you. It's not as scary to you anymore. It's not as intimidating to you.

Yes, it would be terrifying for you to jump into a frozen, icy lake, but getting into a bathtub full of lukewarm bath water is no big deal. You might not prefer it, and you might not want to do that sometimes, but if it happens, you know that you can easily handle it. It's no big deal.

So this is the power changing the way you think, in order to change the way you feel.

Strategy 5: combine CBT with getting rejected (the most effective strategy!)

That said, you can go one step better to achieve the ultimate strategy for overcoming the pain, anger and fear of rejection, and and that is to combine strategy 3 with strategy 4.

The idea is this: you change the way you think about rejection in order to feel differently about it. And then you put yourself in situations where you get rejected, and when you get rejected, you appreciate it's no big deal all for you.

It's confirmed and proven for you that you feel differently when you get rejected, and so your self-confidence skyrockets. It shoots through the roof, because every time you get rejected, now, you realize it barely hurt, or that it didn't even hurt at all, and that's amazing.

So instead of rejection being this crushing experience, every encounter you have with rejection now confirms how strong, and confident, and powerful you are, and so rejection is no big deal to you anymore, and you grow stronger and stronger and stronger from rejection with every encounter you experience.

Again, this only works if you first change the way you think to change how you feel, and then you get rejected and notice this huge difference.

So this is the strategy you've got to choose to take for the most effective results. So now that you know this, let's go ahead and review quickly what you've done.

Review: what you've learned about overcoming rejection so far

You've already established a clear goal: you want to become comfortable with rejection so that it's no big deal.

You're fully motivated to achieve this, and you know exactly what strategy you're getting take to do it. Specifically, changing the way you think about rejection to feel differently about it.

So let's get started thinking about that and think about ways that you can start changing the way you think and feel about rejection today.

Get over rejection by changing your thinking

There are different approaches you can take. One approach is you can target thoughts for you that create a lot of pain, anger, and fear rejection, which is good to do, but another strategy to take is a shortcut, which is to take this course and to go through the thoughts in this course.

What I've done is I have collected a lot of the biggest, common thoughts that make rejection so painful and and scary for people, and I walk you step-by-step through the process of changing the thoughts, and eliminating them so that you never think this way again anymore.

And as a result you immediately naturally eliminate pain, anger and fear of rejection by doing this.

As an example, let me show you how this is done.

Example 1: change how you think about rejection & change how you feel

First, a very common way that people think about rejection that makes it so scary and painful for them is to think that rejection always hurts no matter what.

For example, someone can think: rejection hurts me no matter what I think or do.

With this kind of mentality, rejection is extremely extremely stressful and painful. If you remember at the beginning at this course, I taught you how one of that biggest problems anyone will face with rejection is feeling helpless to do anything about any pain, anger or fear of rejection, and just feeling like they can't help feeling miserable whenever they're rejected.

Well, this thought makes you helpless.

If you think about it, whenever you think that rejection hurts no matter what you think or do, by doing this you have way lower self-esteem, because you're not appreciating yourself or your capabilities.

You have way less self confidence, and you have no motivation to feel differently because you think you can't do anything about it.

So as a result rejection remains really painful for you whenever it occurs, and worst of all, you remain terrified of rejection occurring, because in your mind it's just this guaranteed pain and misery, and you can't do anything about it.

Big lesson: if you didn't think this way, you would already have much less pain, anger and fear of rejection.

Example 2: change this thought to feel better about rejection immediately

Another example: lots of people think of rejection as being this completely bad and miserable thing and that no good comes from it all.

So if you think this way about rejection, and you think that it's just completely bad, no good comes from it, and you can't benefit from it in any way, then what you have done is you have turned rejection into this really scary, evil monster in your mind that is completely bad and destructive in every way.

And of course if you think of rejection like this it's really scary and intimidating, and it's really painful, and it's not anything that you want to deal with.

In fact, it is something you want to run away from. So this kind of thought about rejection will naturally make you want to hide from rejection, and naturally will make you want to not put yourself in situations where you might get rejected.

So of course you can have way less success in life with this thought, and of course you also have way less self-confidence, because you're thinking that you can't take rejection and benefit from it in any way.

Here, you're just thinking that you're incapable of doing something constructive with this, and it is another way the thought will hurt you.

Big lesson: if you didn't think this way about rejection, you wouldn't have nearly as much pain, anger, or fear rejection if it occurred.

Why you can eliminate the pain, anger and fear of rejection fast

So a big question is this: these thoughts definitely hurt you, and they hold you back, and they make you struggle with rejection.

So how do you change these thoughts? How do you make it so that you never think this way again, and instead you think in ways about rejection that make you more calm, relaxed, and confident so that rejection is no big deal to you at all?

This is something that I'm going to walk you through step by step in future lessons. But for right now I want you to appreciate the big picture, which is this: the moment you change the way you think about rejection, you change the way you feel about rejection, which means you immediately feel better about rejection.

This immediately reduces the pain, anger, and fear of rejection by changing your thinking, which means you don't have to wait a long time at all to eliminate the pain, anger and fear.

You can do it way faster than most people think. It's just a matter of knowing what to do and then doing it.

How quickly can you get over rejection?

So the big question right now is this: how quickly do you think you can overcome the pain, anger and fear of rejection by changing your thinking?

Do you think it would take weeks, days, or hours?

I want to plant this idea in your head right now: you can dramatically eliminate and reduce the pain ,anger and fear of rejection in two hours or less by changing those thoughts that are creating the pain, anger and fear of it.

So you don't have to wait a long time to do it.

You could take fifty years to eliminate a thought that makes you terrified of rejection, or you could eliminate that thought in five minutes. It's up to you.

So how fast do you think you could do it? Now, here is a beautiful thing for you to learn and understand and appreciate.

If right now it sinks in to you that: hey, I definitely can overcome the pain, anger and fear of rejection, and it's only a matter of time. It's just a matter of doing this, and I can do it.

If you've already come to this realization, you have already become confident in overcoming the pain, anger and fear of rejection, which is huge, because like I said, one of the biggest problems with rejection is feeling powerless and helpless to do anything about your situation.

And if right now you know that, yes, you can do something about the situation, your problem is already have solved, just because you have empowered yourself.

So right now, take a moment to appreciate how quickly you can eliminate the pain, anger and fear of rejection, and then go do it.

In the next lesson, start changing your thinking immediately, so that you feel better about rejection immediately. That's it. I look forward to seeing you in the next lesson.

Continue with the Rejection Course right now

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How to handle rejection the smart way

In this online course, you learn how to get over rejection quickly and easily, in only 2 hours.

The overall idea is that rejection is a very painful experience for most people, and the pain and hurt that you experience when you're rejected, naturally creates fear of rejection in the future.

Unfortunately, not only does this type of pain, hurt, anger, sadness, and fear about rejection make you miserable, but it can also hold you back in life.

Think about it: if you're afraid of being rejected, then you'll naturally be afraid of putting yourself in situations where you might be rejected in the future. The result of this is less confidence and less success in life.

The point of this course is to help you learn how to cope with rejection in a more constructive way, so that you don't feel so devastated by rejection or afraid of it anymore.

The result is that you'll naturally be a happier, more confident, more successful person in life in every way.

How to overcome rejection so that it's not a problem for you anymore

The key to learning how to overcome fear of rejection is to learn how to accept rejection in a way that it doesn't negatively effect you anymore.

In other words, the point is not to learn how to avoid rejection. After all, if you're spending your time trying to avoid being rejected, then you're really not dealing with rejection in a constructive way at all... Instead, you're just trying to avoid something that you find painful.

The point of this course is to learn how to get over fear of rejection (as well as pain, hurt, anger, and sadness about rejection) by dealing with what actually makes rejection such a painful or scary experience for you.

In other words, the goal of the course is to help you remove the pain and fear... So that you don't have to avoid being rejected anymore.

To be clear, you'll still be rejected at some point or another, after you've taken this course. After all, every human encounters rejection in his life!

However, the difference is that you won't be as hurt or as scared by it anymore. And in this way, rejection won't be a problem for you anymore.

How to face rejection no matter what type it is

There are so many different types of rejection. For example, there is rejection in love, sales, business, friendship, auditions, college applications, job interviews, and on, and on, and on.

You pretty much encounter rejection in every facet of your life!

But no matter what type of rejection is bothering your, this online course helps you deal with it quickly and effectively.

So if you're looking to learn how to deal with rejection from a guy (or how to deal with rejection from a girl) this course is for you.

Or if you want to learn how to respond to a job rejection, this course is for you. (For example, if you find it painful to open a job rejection email, this course can help you so that it's not that big of a deal to you anymore.)

Or if you want to learn how to deal with college rejection, because you got rejected from whatever university you applied to, this course is for you. With this course, instead of this being a devastating experience for you, which hurts and makes you sad every time you think about it, you're able to learn how to move on from rejection quickly and easily, so that this type of rejection doesn't hold you back in life in any way.

Or if you want to learn how to handle rejection in sales, so that it doesn't bother you so much anymore to be turned down or told "no" by potential customers, this course is for you. (And think about it: if rejection doesn't hurt you anymore whenever you try to make a sale, you'll naturally not be afraid of being rejected when pitching a service or product. This makes it easier for you to be more confident and successful in sales. In this way, overcoming your fear of rejection naturally leads to more money!)

So, in a nutshell, even though you'll still be rejected at times, after taking this course, you won't find it so horrible anymore. And instead of being miserable and becoming weaker as a result of rejection, you'll learn how to grow stronger and more confident from it.

And this is something most people will never tell you, but you learn in this course: you can learn how to benefit from rejection, rather than be destroyed by it. It's all about how you approach rejection, and this course teaches you step by step how to respond to rejection in a way that makes your life better, rather than worse.

So this is how to get over the fear of rejection (as well as the pain, anger, and sadness of being rejected) no matter what kind of rejection you encounter in life. This is a life-changing skill, which you'll always be better off for knowing. 

How to recover from rejection quickly & easily

Rejection doesn't have to be a setback for you anymore. Not with this course.

You'll learn how to take rejection in a way that it doesn't bother you anymore (or, at least, not as much!), and you'll learn how to not fear rejection as well.

And as result, your life will improve in each and every single way.

So are you ready to learn how to heal from rejection and not feel so depressed about it when it happens?

Are you ready to remove the hurt, pain, anger, and sadness of being rejected, which makes you feel miserable and can contribute to depression?

And are you ready to learn how to get rid of fear of rejection, so that it doesn't hold you back in life anymore, or create feelings of stress and anxiety that make you uncomfortable in social situations?

Indeed, are you ready to learn how to have less social anxiety by not fearing rejection at all anymore? (For example, here's a common one: are you ready to immediately reduce and eliminate any fear of speaking in public, by not being afraid of being rejected when you deliver your speech?)

Overall, are you ready to increase your happiness, confidence, and success in life in every single way by being completely free of the pain and fear of rejection?

Then continue reading to get a special discount on the rejection course.

Get a special discount on this rejection course

This course on rejection is hosted on Udemy. If you click the button at the bottom of the page, you will get a special Udemy promo code (coupon code) for the course to get a better price for it.

Also, if you look at the lessons on the course page, you'll see that you can preview lessons for free, so that you know whether you'll like the course or not before you buy it.

This discount will only be available for a limited time, so use the promo code (coupon code) before it expires!

Get a Discount on the Rejection Course