Eliminate Any Fear Of Being Sad, Unhappy, Or Feeling Bad


I struggle with the fear of being sad and unhappy, and with experiencing unpleasant emotions, in general. Why am I afraid of my feelings? More importantly, how do I overcome this fear of my own feelings?

If you're afraid of your own feelings, it's because you're treating your emotions as threats in some way. Not only is this a self-destructive thing to do, but it also doesn't make much sense to do, the more you think about it.

Indeed, if you want to become a happier person and stay happy consistently, it's important that you:

  • Stop treating unpleasant emotions as threats (stop feeling afraid and threatened by the possibility of feeling bad in any way; for example, stop treating 'negative' emotions like sadness or unhappiness as big enemies that you have to watch out for)
  • Start treating unpleasant emotions as signals of opportunity (start being motivated and energized by unpleasant feelings to find ways to improve your life to feel better; for example, whenever you're unhappy, identify how you might improve your thinking, to be a happier, stronger person) 

Here's why it's important for you to improve the way you think about your own emotions, if you want to become happier faster and easier, stay happy on a regular basis, and always enjoy greater peace of mind.

Why are people afraid of their feelings?

For me, emotions such as anger and guilt are bad emotions. So, I naturally have the fear of feeling guilty, and I'm afraid of my own feelings when I get angry. How do I stop being afraid of these things?

Unfortunately, it's common to treat unpleasant emotions like fear, anxiety, anger, guilt, sadness, unhappiness, and so on, as if they're big, dangerous monsters that you have to battle and defeat if you want to feel happy.

Indeed, people use loaded terms like fight anxietybeat depression, and conquer fear, when talking about such emotional states, as if you have to prepare for war and survive a struggle with an evil villain, if you want to enjoy peace and happiness.

This approach to 'negative' emotions makes it seem like a battle between David and Goliath, where you are a poor, helpless, little person, up against a big, bad, powerful enemy to fight.

Unfortunately, if you buy into this self-destructive idea of unpleasant emotions being dark, looming, dangerous threats that you have to fight, you will find yourself consistently struggling with 'negative feelings', and consistently feeling drained of energy and exhausted as a result.

Why treating unpleasant emotions as big, bad threats hurts you

Believing that unpleasant emotions are threats or enemies to fight has an immediate, negative impact on your life.

Impact

  • You naturally feel weak and helpless, in comparison to the 'bad' emotions that threaten you
  • As a result, not only do you have lower self-esteem and less confidence in yourself, but you are naturally riddled with fear and anxiety that you might feel bad at any moment and have to 'fight' something dangerous and more powerful than you
  • So, already, you naturally feel perpetually bad or worse in some way (which is exactly what you're afraid of in the first place!), and even if you ever become happy to some degree, you will always experience that nagging concern that you could feel bad at any moment

The overall lesson: this is an extremely destructive approach to negative emotions, and the sooner you stop thinking of unpleasant emotions as being threats, the happier and stronger you'll be.

Fortunately, when you consider this matter further, it makes no sense at all to perceive 'negative' feelings as threats.

Why it doesn't make sense to see unpleasant emotions as big, bad threats

Sensibility

  • If you can feel better immediately, simply by changing your thinking, how on earth does it make sense to think of negative emotions as big, bad threats to fight?
  • Rather than thinking of negative emotions as something to fight (a stressful approach that already makes you feel worse), it makes more sense to think of negative emotions as things that are best resolved peacefully
  • Also, when you consider how negative emotions can alert you to areas in your life that can be improved (such as negative thoughts that can be replaced with positive thoughts so that you feel better), it doesn't make sense at all to think of negative emotions as threats
  • Instead, it makes more sense to think of negative emotions as being a type of alert system, which helps draw your attention to opportunities for improvement in your life

How can unpleasant emotions be useful to you?

Rather than seeing unpleasant feelings like sadness or unhappiness as threats, you can see them as being signals of opportunity that alert you to possibilities for improvement in your life. In this way, you can appreciate the service that unpleasant emotions provide, even if you want to get rid of them as quickly as possible. 

To understand this, think about either a fire alarm going off in your house, or the pain you experience when you put your hand on a hot stove. 

You might not enjoy the sound of the fire alarm going off, or the pain you feel when you touch a hot stove, but you can be thankful that you have such signals to alert you to improvements you can make in your life.

For example, the fire alarm alerts you to either put out the fire or get out of the house, and the pain in your hand alerts you to take your hand off the stove, so that you stop harming yourself. 

Unpleasant emotions provide the exact same service to you. They alert you that there are things that you could be doing to improve your life (like improving your thoughts, actions, or environment) and better yourself immediately. 

Why it helps you to treat unpleasant emotions as signals of opportunity

Appreciating 'negative' emotions as things that can alert you to opportunities for improvement has an immediate, positive effect on your life.

Impact

  • You naturally feel better about 'bad' emotions, and have more peace of mind about the role they play in your life, since you think of them as 'alert systems' that can benefit you or help you in some way
  • So, you already naturally feel better, happier, and more peaceful (which is exactly how you want to feel in the first place!), and when you are happy, you are free of nagging concerns that unpleasant emotions could strike at any moment, since you know that they are simply there to alert you to opportunities for improving your life and feeling better and stronger
  • Indeed, if you experience feelings like sadness or unhappiness, they are not that big of a deal to you, anymore, since it's simply a matter of identifying what changes you can make in your life to feel better (like changes in your thinking, actions, or environment)

The overall lesson: seeing unpleasant emotions as signals of opportunity naturally benefits you a great deal and makes you a happier, stronger person who finds a way to benefit from negative emotions in some way, rather than being drained of energy and feeling exhausted fighting them. 

So this approach is how to get rid of bad feelings in a very sensible, beneficial, and highly effective way, by doing something to take care of what 'triggered' the unpleasant feelings in the first place.

Why treating unpleasant emotions as signals of opportunity makes sense

Sensibility

  • Just as your body uses physical pain to alert you to improvements that are in your best interest to make (for example, taking your hand off that hot stove), it makes sense to think of unpleasant emotions as being ways of alerting you to improvements you can make in your life (for example, improving your thoughts, actions, or environment)
  • With this appreciation, it makes sense to prefer not experiencing unpleasant emotions (much like you would prefer to not hear a fire alarm ringing in the middle of the night, or to feel a sharp pain in your hand)
  • But it also makes sense to be thankful for such unpleasant emotions when they occur, in the sense that they alert you to something that you can immediately do to improve your life

So are unpleasant emotions actually good or are they bad?

If bad feelings like anxiety, unhappiness, sadness, and fear are actually useful for me in some way, how can emotions be classified as good or bad, or categorized as positive or negative? And does this mean that it's good to feel bad? I'm confused...

To be clear: unpleasant emotions can be useful in the sense they alert you to areas for improvement (like a fire alarm alerting you to a fire), but they are not inherently good, wonderful things that you want to experience more and more of in your life. 

For example, you wouldn't want that fire alarm to keep ringing over and over, would you? That shrill ringing would keep you up at night, continously distract you and make you nervous, and just shatter your peace of mind in general. 

Indeed, you would want to take care of whatever has triggered that fire alarm, and get that fire alarm to stop ringing as soon as possible. 

It is the same thing with unpleasant feelings, or what we sometimes call 'negative' or 'bad' emotions. 

You can be thankful that the alert system exists (that you have unpleasant emotions that alert you to issues for you to address), but at the same time, it is in your best interest to take care of what triggered that negative emotion, and improve your life in some way, so that you stop feeling bad as quickly as possible. 

Improve your life immediately

Right now, complete this achievement by taking steps that will help you rewire your mind to stop being afraid of unpleasant emotions and feeling bad, in general. This will naturally help you feel stronger, more confident, and more secure; this, in turn, will help you become happier faster and easier and help you stay happier on a regular basis.




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Section 5 Lessons


  1. Are you uncomfortable with happiness?
  2. Do you really need help being happy?
  3. Stop blaming people (including yourself) for being unhappy
  4. Eliminate any fear of being sad, unhappy, or feeling bad