Do You Really Need Help Being Happy?


There is a big difference between wanting other people's help to be happy (and enjoying and benefiting from their help), and needing other people's help to be happy (which means you can't achieve and enjoy happiness without other people's help). 

Appreciating this difference can make all the difference in the world to you, and naturally help you become a much stronger, more confident, and much happier person immediately. 

Indeed, if you want to become happier and stay happy consistently, it's important that you:

  • Stop needing other people's help to be happy (stop needing their support, acceptance, or approval)
  • Start becoming happy & staying happy consistently with or without anyone else's help (be happy with or without any support, acceptance or approval from others)

Here's why it's so important to do this.

How needing other people's help to be happy hurts you

If you need other people's support, acceptance, or approval to be happy:

  • You naturally feel anxious, desperate, and miserable, if no one is giving you the type of help you want or believe you 'need'
  • Not only does this naturally make you less happy, in general, and create feelings of fear and anxiety, but it also puts you in a very weak, vulnerable situation, where you always feel weak and helpless to some degree
  • This lack of confidence and security makes the process of eliminating unhappiness and becoming a happier person a lot more challenging
  • Indeed, even if you do achieve some degree of happiness, there will still be the unpleasant concern that you could be unhappy at any moment if people are not there to help you
  • The overall result is much less success and achievement in becoming happy and staying happy consistently, and predictably having more happy/unhappy mood swings, depending on whether other people help you or not

The overall lesson: needing other people's help to be happy is inherently self-destructive and counter-productive! It actively prevents you from becoming a happier person and remaining happy.

How being able to be happy with or without other people's help benefits you

If you're able to be happy with or without other people's support, acceptance, or approval:

  • You naturally feel more calm and confident, even if no one is helping you to be happy, but at the same time, you're also able to enjoy and benefit from other people's help if they do decide to help you in any way
  • So this is a win-win situation where you naturally always feel happier in general, and you're also in a much stronger, more secure situation, where you always feel more powerful, more capable, and more confident, no matter what 
  • This increase in confidence and security not only boosts your self-esteem and makes you feel better and happier, but it also makes the process of getting rid of any sadness, depression, or unhappiness and becoming happier a billion times easier
  • Even better, once you do achieve happiness, you naturally have the peace of mind that you can stay happy whether or not there is anyone to help you feel that way
  • The overall result is way more success and achievement in becoming happier and staying happy consistently, and having a much more stable, happier mood

The overall lesson: being able to be happy with or without help from others naturally makes you feel better and happier in and of itself, makes it way easier to become happier and happier, and is absolutely crucial for being able to stay consistently happy. 

If you want to be a happier person, this is by far one of the best things you could possibly do for yourself.

Why being happy with or without other people's help makes sense

Clearly, having the ability to be happy without any help from others is highly beneficial. Not only does it make you a happier person, but it will also help keep you happy.

But it also makes a lot of sense to enjoy your capability to be happy with or without help from others for other reasons:

  • While there are different things that can help make you feel happier, happiness is ultimately created in the mind, by thinking in positive ways that make you feel better
  • The person with the most power for helping you change the way you think is you, since it's ultimately your choice whether you want to get rid of negative thoughts and think positive thoughts instead
  • When you consider all this, it makes absolutely no sense at all to believe that you 'need' other people to be happy, when you are clearly the most powerful person for making yourself happier, and you already have everything it takes to feel happier (a functioning mind and the capacity to change your thoughts)
  • Instead, it makes complete sense to believe that you can be happy with or without other people's help or support, and that you can elso enjoy their help to become happier faster and easier, if anyone does decide to help you in any way

To be clear: if you benefit from therapy, or support groups, or self-improvement programs and resources (such as this one!), that's great. 

The key, though, is to enjoy and appreciate these things as tools or ways of becoming faster and easier, and that you enjoy and appreciate them on those terms, rather than ever believing that you need them to be happy or to stay happy.

How to stop needing people's help to be happy

Get rid of the following negative thoughts that make you feel needy, insecure, and dependent on other people's support, acceptance, and approval to be happy. 

Click on each negative thought to learn why you're better of without it, and why it doesn't make sense to think that way.

Believing that what other people want is more important than what you want, and that it's good and right for you to be happy or unhappy, depending on how others want you to feel

Impact

  • You have a lower sense of self-esteem, due to believing that what other people want is more important than what you want
  • You are only motivated by what others want you to do (rather than being self-motivated), so you are like a leaf on the wind, feeling happy or unhappy depending on how others want you to feel
  • The result is that you have way less success and achievement becoming happier, and you are less powerful, less capable, and less confident since you are highly dependent on the desires of others for feeling happy

Sensibility

  • Why on earth would you think that the way other people want you to feel is more important than you, pesonally, want to feel?
  • How you feel affects your own life more powerfully than anyone else's, so if you think about it, how your personal desire to feel happy is way more important and relevant than how anyone else wants you to feel
  • Also, when you consider the negative effects of sadness, unhappiness, and depression, it makes no sense to all think that it is 'good' or 'right' to feel that way, if others want you to feel miserable, for whatever reason

Believing you can't eliminate sadness, depression, or unhappiness & become a happier person without other people supporting, accepting, and approving of this change

Impact

  • You feel helpless to become happier without other people's support, acceptance, or approval to become happier, due to believing you can't
  • Not only does this make you less happier, but it also reduces your self confidence and self esteem, as you do not recognize your capabilities
  • As a result, you have less success and achievement becoming happy, and you are riddled with fear and anxiety that people won't help, accept, or approve of you becoming happier, since you believe you 'need' this to enjoy becoming happier

Sensibility

  • The most important factor for becoming happier is to improve your thinking (replace negative thoughts with positive ones), and clearly you can do this without anyone's support, help, or approval, as you are free to use your mind however you see fit
  • Even if some people don't support, accept, or approve of you becoming happier (and even negatively want you to be sad, miserable, and depressed), so what? 
  • When you consider that you can clearly still improve your thinking and enjoy more positive thoughts, even in this type of scenario, it makes no sense to believe that you can't be happy without anyone's help, support, acceptance, or approval 

Believing it's bad or wrong for you to stop being sad, depressed, or unhappy, and to become happy & stay happy consistently, if other people don't want you to make this change

Impact

  • If you achieve being happy, and other people don't want or like this, feeling happy will feel 'wrong' or even unpleasant to you, due to your belief that it is some somehow bad or wrong to feel happy under these circumstances
  • As a result, you will naturally revert to feeling sad, depressed, or unhappy, due to believing that this is the "right" or better way to feel, if that's how people want you to feel
  • So, overall, you have way less success and achievement becoming happier and staying happy consistently, since you are highly dependent on others thinking that this is an 'ok' or 'right' way for you to feel, and you will naturally feel bad if others think it's wrong for you to be happy

Sensibility

  • Even if some people want you to feel sad, depressed, or unhappy -- for example, even if they believe you deserve to feel miserable, and it's wrong for you to ever feel happy again or enjoy life again -- so what?
  • Where on earth is the "goodness" or "rightness" of you feeling miserable and unhappy, simply because some people want you to think and feel in a way that hurts you?
  • When you consider all the negative effects of unhappiness and all the benefits of happiness -- including benefits for both you and the people around you who will benefit from you feeling happier, even if they're too short-sighted to appreciate this -- it makes no sense at all to believe that it's bad or wrong for you to stop being miserable and to become happier, if other people don't want you to make this change!

How to be capable of being happy with or without other people's help

Become more independent by thinking positive thoughts that make you feel calm, secure, and confident that you can become happy and stay happy consistently, regardless of whether anyone gives you their support, acceptance, or approval for doing so.

Click on each positive thought to learn how it helps you, and why it makes sense to think that way.

Believing that what you want is at least as important as what other people want, and that it's ok, great, and beneficial for you to want to be happy

Impact

  • You have a higher sense of self-esteem, due to believing that what you want is at least as important as what other people want
  • You are self-motivated to become happy (rather than being only motivated by others) due to seeing value in what you want and believing that it's ok, great, and beneficial for you to want be happy
  • The result is that you take steps to become happier, regardless of what others want, and consequently have way more success and achievement becoming happier, and you are more powerful, more capable, and more confident, especially since you are not dependent on the desires of others for feeling happy

Sensibility

  • How you want to feel is extremely important, since it has an immediate impact on your life, and what you do (or don't do) to feel happier and enjoy life more
  • When you consider this, your personal desire to feel happy is clearly way more important and relevant than how anyone else wants you to feel, so it makes complete sense to accept that what you want is at least as important (indeed, much more important, in this case!) than how other people want you to feel
  • Also, when you consider all the wonderful benefits of happiness, it makes complete sense to accept that it is ok, great, and beneficial for you to want to be happy, especially since this is a very constructive desire that will naturally help you improve your well-being and change your life for the better

Believing you can eliminate sadness, depression, or unhappiness & become a happier person with or without other people supporting, accepting, and approving of this change

Impact

  • You feel empowered to become happier without other people's support, acceptance, or approval to become happier, due to believing you can stop being sad, depressed, or unhappy and feel happier without anyone giving their help, blessing, or permission for it
  • Not only does sense of empowerment make you feel better and happier in and of itself, but it also increases your self confidence and self esteem, as you recognize your capabilities
  • As a result, you have more success and achievement becoming happy, and you feel more calm and confident, even if people don't help, accept, or approve of this positive change, since you know that this help might be beneficial or appreciated, but is ultimately unnecessary for you to enjoy becoming happier

Sensibility

  • The most important thing for achieving greater happiness is to improve your thoughts (replace negative thinking with positive positive thinking), and clearly you can do this without anyone else's support, acceptance, or approval, as you are free to use your mind however you see fit
  • Even if some people don't support, accept, or approve of you becoming happier (and even negatively want you to be sad, miserable, and depressed), so what? 
  • When you consider that you can clearly still improve your thinking and enjoy more positive thoughts, even in this type of scenario, it makes complete sense to accept that you can be happy without anyone's help, support, acceptance, or approval

If you're thinking, I can't give my myself permission to be happy unless people are ok with me being happy, this is nonsense!

Clearly, you are perfectly capable of it, and this is how to give yourself permission to be happy, regardless of whether others approve it or not. (The next positive thought helps you with this as well.)

Believing it's ok and great for you to stop being sad, depressed, or unhappy, and to become happy & stay happy consistently, regardless of what other people want or think

Impact

  • If you achieve being happy, and other people don't want or like this, you can and will still enjoy feeling happy, due to your belief that it ok and great for you to feel happy, regardless of what others want or think
  • As a result, you naturally stay happy more consistently, and you are less susceptible to unpleasant mood swings, depending on your environment and how others want you to feel
  • So, overall, you have way more success and achievement becoming happier and staying happy consistently, since you are more secure and independent, and not dependent at all on others wanting, liking, or approving of you feeling happy

Sensibility

  • When you consider all the negative effects of unhappy, and all the positive benefits of feeling happy (benefits for both you and others around you)...
  • It always makes to accept that it's okay and great to get rid of sadness, depression, or unhappiness and to feel happy instead
  • Indeed, this is completely sensible to believe and accept regardless of what other people want and think, since their desires, opinions, and thoughts don't change that this is always a beneficial thing for you to do for yourself

Improve your life immediately

Right now, complete this achievement by taking steps that will help you rewire your mind to be able to become happy & stay happy consistently with or without other people's assistance. This, of course, will naturally help you become happier (and stay happier) faster and easier.




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Section 5 Lessons


  1. Are you uncomfortable with happiness?
  2. Do you really need help being happy?
  3. Stop blaming people (including yourself) for being unhappy
  4. Eliminate any fear of being sad, unhappy, or feeling bad